Hello friends, it’s been awhile since I’ve last posted and I wanted to share a little update as to why it’s been a little quiet around here lately. Over the past 3 weeks we have experienced some very high, highs and very low, lows. It’s been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster but it’s safe to say the high points have made it all worth it!
3 weeks ago we lost the beloved matriarch of my husbands family, which led us to a last minute cross country trip for her funeral on the east coast and multiple days visiting with his large extended family in Pennsylvania. While it was wonderful to see everyone, connect and honor his grandmothers life, it was also filled with much sadness at the loss of her beautiful light that was very noticeable it was missing from the gathering and definitely felt by everyone in the family. She had one of the most infectious laughs and a sweet, caring spirit about her that made everyone feel loved. She will be greatly missed!
While we were visiting Pennsylvannia it hit us pretty hard that it would most likely be our last time visiting the area where my father in law was born and raised & probably our last chance to see his family home (that had been in the family for 4 generations!). It was a bittersweet opportunity to pay a quick visit to the home where my father in law grew up and a tribute to my husbands family heritage & their roots that still are firmly planted on the east coast. I’m grateful that as a homeschooling family we had the ability to travel and the chance to say goodbye to both the location and his sweet grandmother. We’re hopeful we will be able to return to visit the beautiful Pennsylvania countryside again to explore more of the area where my father in law grew up.
Shortly after we returned home from the east coast our son turned 18. That is significant for us for multiple reasons; of course there’s the obvious ones, like he is no longer a child and now has passed into the adult stage of life. So crazy! But, also for several other reasons that we haven’t been able to share much about until now… and we are thrilled to be able to share that on our sons birthday: we were FINALLY able to file for my husband to adopt our son!! The son that he has loved and raised as his own for the past 13 years. A few years ago when our daughter turned 18 we were able to file for my husband to officially adopt our daughter and had to wait until our son turned 18 before we could file for his adoption too. It has been an excruciating wait at times with lots of tears, frustration, worry, stress, financial burden and lots of testing in our trust that the Lord would work things in our favor. After more than a decade of waiting, praying, hoping and a looooong drawn out court battle, but we finally made it! I can hardly believe it. I still feel stunned and a bit surprised to actually be able to say: my son finally, officially shares our last name!!! He no longer has to be held back by or connected to a name that ties him to and reminds him of a negative and painful past. He is now legally and officially a Landis!:)
I rarely talk about it on my socials and haven’t mentioned much about this yet, so you might be surprised to know that I am a survivor of domestic abuse and violence. My children and I lived with a horrendous monster (that was physically, emotionally, verbally, psychologically & financially abusive, controlling, manipulative, and harmful in every way possible) until we were finally able to escape when my daughter was 7 and my son was 4. At the time of our escape I had been married for over 10 years to a controlling, narcissictic, abusive, alcoholic who had become a drug addict before we were able to flee. After he drug out the divorce through family court for a year, we were finally free.. or so we thought. It has taken another 13 years for us to officially be free of him…at least legally speaking. The ramifications of the abuse and trauma will affect us probably for the rest of our lives. However, I am so so grateful that he no longer is a threat to my children, that we are able to safely move on with our lives and we can continue to heal the areas that still need mending, and gently continue piecing together the parts of our hearts/lives that were broken and shattered that will take much longer to recover or be completely rebuilt after everything we’ve been through.
For the past decade we have fought a silent battle that we were not able to share about due to threats of legal ramifications if we said anything or shared about the trauma, abuse and neglect we endured from the broken family court system. That is nothing though in comparrison to the ongoing trauma and perpetual triggers caused by having to repeatedly relive our past abuse, trauma, neglect and chaos. Every time we had to open that portal to the past and were forced to dive back into the sewage of our previous life, we were forced to relive it all. Everything we endured, everything we tried so hard to move past and let go. Unfortunately the court system is so broken it really doesn’t do anything to protect the innocent. The victims of horrendous abuse. The system has failed those who are the most in need of protecting. The children who are given no voice. I learned so much about this huge lapse and disservice to abuse and DV victims from my personal experience with the legal process. In order to protect my children from additional harm, trauma and abuse from their abusive biological father it required a lengthy and very expensive court battle. Someday I might write a book about all of the insane things we went through, the lies we were told and horrendous things we witnessed and endured during our life with our abuser and after we fled, along with the crazy things that happened during the long drawn out court custody case. All the chaotic mess, trials, emotional and verbal abuse we went through while dealing with the family court system and the long laundry list of damage & harm that was caused by court appointed psychologists, counselors and the legal system.
To say we are beyond ecstatic to finally have that behind us and fully able to put it out of sight of our rearview mirror is amazing! I can’t quite put it into words just yet how it feels to know we are free! After more than 2 decades of being trapped, silenced and stuck…chained to my abusive ex-husband and the horrific abuse I lived through, I’m finally free! My children are finally free! We’re finally able to move forward without those chains holding us back. I will be processing this for a while, but it is the greatest relief to know we can move on with life with nothing else limiting our opportunities or restraining us from fully living and enjoying all life has to offer any longer. It is incredible to actually be able to say that. I honestly don’t have the words to fully describe adequately how it feels right now to know I’m no longer bound by the past. That my chilldren and I are officially FREE!!
Over the past 9 days we have had that to process while also preparing for our son’s highschool graduation last Friday night. We are a homeschool family and it has been another chapter in our lives that has come to a close. For 11 years I was able to spend nearly every day with my children. Pouring into them, building them up, encouraging them and reaffirming them, their goals and spending valuable time with them in an effort to make up some of that time that was lost, stolen from us during all the years we lived in turmoil. For 11 years I had the wonderful privilege of learning alongside them, watching them grow, dream and develop into the incredible adults they are today. It has been a blessing and a difficult task at times, but so rewarding to have those memories together and to share this journey with them.
One of the best perks of homeschooling has been all of the adventures and travels we’ve been fortunate to share as a family and the opportunities that it has provided for our children. They have each been able to experience amazing locations, explore destinations and witness countless special moments while attending unique activities and events they wouldn’t have had the opportunity to participate in otherwise. It truly has been a blessing to homeschool them and a special way to bond and connect with them in a unique way that I wouldn’t trade for the world! What a joy to watch my son complete highschool, walk on stage for his diploma & change his tassle to signify he’s done with this chapter. We had a great celebration over the weekend and now we’re recouperating a little bit before we gear up for our daughters wedding in 5 weeks!! It’s so crazy and still hard to fathom we have all of this to celebrate, back to back to back! Feels like a whirlwind of joy, nostalgia and lots of emotions… Send me all the tissues! lol
I love to connect in the comments. Tell me about you, do you also have a graduate or celebrating a wedding this year? See below to join the newsletter to stay up to date on all my latestest posts. Next up will be a short series on exploring the wonders of the Mediterranean & perks of cruising.
Until next time, happy adventures & celebrations!
~Krista
All rights reserved, copywright at Stampsinmypassport 2025
Leave a comment